What are some funny and smart quotes?

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

Paris Baguette: The Korean bakery that wants to make croissants less French - BBC

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

Sydney Sweeney Gained More Than 30 Pounds, Trained for ‘Three and a Half Months’ for Christy Martin Biopic: ‘My Boobs Got Bigger. And My Butt Got Huge’ - Variety

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

Bowel Cancer in Young People Is Rising – Here's How to Reduce Your Risk - ScienceAlert

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”